were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
