Whod you bang
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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