I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
