Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
