i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
