so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
