If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
