We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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