The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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