i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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