There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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