Im at strip club and am horny
it hurts more in the daytime
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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