do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
