i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
