He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Semen is not good for contacts.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
