do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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