I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
