need another drink. this is the easiest way
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
