Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
