the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
