That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
