it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
