Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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