We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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