I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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