It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
