I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
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