it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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