the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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