She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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