Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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