what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We named our party play list daddy issues
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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