go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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