wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
