Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
