My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
