he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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