On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Randomize
