i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
