I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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