do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
