Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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