i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
