I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
