Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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