I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
