fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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