So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
