I want to have your abortion
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
