He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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