Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Michael Bay diarrhea
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
