the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
as a side note pls kill me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
